Lyrics – Songs for Strippers (and other professions)

From the Swallows album Songs for Strippers (and other professions) (2008)

Not Your Kind of Man

I’ll bet I’m lookin’ pretty ugly
I’ll bet I’m lookin’ pretty sad
Why do you act so disappointed?
I’ll bet I make you pretty mad

I don’t want empty conversations
And I don’t wanna meet your dad
I want to push myself against you
I need to taste you pretty bad

Just take one look at me
I’m not your kind of man

What I lack in feelings
I make up in stamina
I look so good when we’re together
You don’t look it but you should

Just take one look at me
I’m not your kind of man

Every time that we’re together
You push, you push
And you think it’s pretty clever
To push, to push, to push, to push, to push

I’m feelin’ pretty seasick
Fucked up, misunderstood
I put up with all this bullshit
Just to see that little bush

You want passion, you want meaning
I want ecstasy and joy
I need to have it in the moment
Don’t need a man, you need a boy

Just take one look at me
I’m not your kind of man

Just take one look at me
I’m not your kind of man

Just take one look at me
I’m not your kind of man

© 2004 Crandall

Kerouac

I’m holding communion with my autograph
On the back of a postcard to an old girlfriend
I’m so guilty for my lack of identity

I don’t want to be the campus president
Or a mealy-mouthed hipster from the psychic orient
I just want to be a merry man

I don’t want to be a Jack Kerouac
Expending all my energy
And returning right back
To where I began

I don’t want to climb any corporate ladder
Fending off my enemies with super-slick diplomacy
I just want to be a merry man

I don’t want to be a brain-dead patriot
Or a Christ-loving Marxist conspiracy nut
I just want to be a merry man

I don’t want to be a Jack Kerouac
Expending all my energy
And returning right back
To where I began

Great American spirit
Sang the song of himself
Lost and lonesome icon
He fell off the end of the earth
Fell off the end of the earth
Fell off the end of the earth

I don’t want to be a Jack Kerouac
Expending all my energy
And returning right back
To where I began

© 1992 Crandall

I Won’t Let You Down

You can’t remember what cut you to pieces
The flash of that knife still holds you down

You see yourself as some battle-worn princess
But you’re more like quicksand than bullets and shrapnel

You draw the line but can’t seem to hold it
Homesteader between the lost and loved

You want someone
Who knows what you’re missing,
But your scars remind you
“You’re all alone”

Hold on, Hold on
You’ve had enough
But I won’t let you down

You like everything fast, hard as steel
Take a fist to a slap in the face
You hate people who cry when they suffer
You’re like concrete that cracks but won’t break

Come close to your heart; it ceases beating
All gauges zero and every clock stops

You’re like a squad car first to the crime scene
You’ve got a way of shutting down the block

Hold on, Hold on
You’ve had enough
But I won’t let you down

Down
Down
Down

Hold on, Hold on
You’ve had enough
But I won’t let you down

Hold on, Hold on
You’ve had enough
But I won’t let you down

© 1999 Crandall

The Craven King

I’ve got a taste for some raw red meat
Girl or boy, young and sweet (or old and nasty)
Transmutation as the sun goes down
Myopia makes the world so soft and round

I don’t feel like I’m coming through clear at all

3 a.m. in the produce aisle
Shiny wet fruit goes on for miles and miles
No fun bathing in the hyper-light
Everything so clean and bright and real

I don’t feel like I’m coming through clear at all

I feel alive
I’m the craven king
I’ll come in close
Yeah, I’ll make you scream

I’ve been reading the Marquis de Sade
How to tie a good knot and make it feel like love
Candles, incense I don’t mind
I’ll bring the whips, you shut the blinds

I don’t feel like I’m coming through clear at all

I feel alive
I’m the craven king
I’ll come in close
Yeah, I’ll make you scream

Daylight shoves me up against the wall
I built it up, so I’ll tear it down and down
Edges edges everywhere
I need some respite from this glare

I don’t feel like I’m coming through clear at all

I feel alive
I’m the craven king
I’ll cut you nice
Yeah, I’ll make you scream

I’ll take your dignity
And strap it to your soul
I’ll dress your wounds after
I sink my teeth right to your bones

© 2004 Crandall

Come to Me

You come to me
You come to me
You come to me
And come alone

You come to me
My heart is cold
You come to me
Or I’ll come to you

You come to me
Your flesh is warm
You come to me
And drink my words, my blood

I’ll teach you
I’ll teach you

I’ll give you life and air to breathe
I’ll leave you begging me
I’ll leave you hurting, all alone
Waiting for me to come back home

You come to me
I’ll cover you in oil
You come with me
And I’ll cleanse you

Yeah, I’ll cleanse you

You come to me
My heart is cold
You come to me
Or I’ll rip into your soul

I’ll find you
Yeah, I’ll find you

I’ll break the flesh ‘til there’s no pain
No thoughts dividing suffering
In full presence you will come
To the light behind the image of the living one

I promise you
I promise you
I promise you
I promise you

© 2003 Crandall

Hardball

Got my mind made up
I’m not scared
Better listen up
Get prepared
I’m movin’ on
Like long, long gone

I’ll let the government
Take its share
But you’re no charity
Let’s get that square
You’re a real hard ball
And your back’s against the wall

Too many headaches
Too much pain
If I tell another lie
I’ll go insane
I want it all
And I’m headed for a fall

You don’t open up very well
You need to live it up
Can’t you tell?
I won’t be on call
When you’ve got me crawling
Up the walls

You’d better lighten up
Learn to share
You’d better find a way
To drown your cares
In drink or song
Or whatever gets you movin’ on

Too much bullshit
Too much pain
If I watch you cry again
I’m gonna fucking scream
You’re gonna stall
’Til I yell, “Fuck All”

You’ve got a sick lie
Perched in the place of love
And you’re gonna feed that bird
’Til it eats you right up
You never knew when love flew past you

I’ll have a heart attack
Lose my hair
Gain a hundred pounds of despair
That’s why I’m movin’ on
Like long, long gone

You’d better hold on tight
You’d better hold on good
I’m gonna catch a ride
Through these petrified woods I’d better roll

Before I get bulldozed

Yeah, I’m gonna hitch a ride
Before this gets real mean
I’m not explaining nothing
No words to turn on me

I’ll burn it all
Before I let you make me crawl

I’ll burn it all
Before I let you make me crawl

I’ll burn it all…
Hardball

© 1998 Crandall

Days Like This

I said goodbye to nothing
I can’t take it anymore
To have you waiting for me
When I don’t give a damn

So, you’ve given up hope
So, I wasted your time

Days like this
You’re feelin’ cold as hell
Days like this
Slow motion, slow to fade

You’re desiccated
You still fear the water, still fear the air
You can’t stand the surface
But you can’t swim these depths

Slow, so slow to move
So, you won’t save yourself

I know you’re out there
Caught in a trap
You won’t let go

But I won’t watch the days pass me by
I won’t dry up
No, I won’t fade
I won’t let the will in me die

Days like this
They’re like a slow suicide
Days like this
Will eat you alive
Days like this
Will cut you with cold steel
Days like this
Slow motion, slow to fade

© 2003 Crandall

The Last Happy Shot

I’m still thinkin’ that you’re near
On the couch or up the stairs
Your voice wakes me in the night
I hear you come in to tell me, “It’s alright”

I sense your laughter in the air
The scent of soap left in your hair
Your polished wit
Your quick-draw mind
Shooting back at me
Like bullets from the divine

I saw you last night at the bitter end
With your high boots on
Sexy little child
Bright-eyed and free
Turning every head your way
Even the ghost of you
A moment’s view
Could bring me right down to my knees

I took a drive out to the coast
To find those cliffs
Where we got lost
Two happy drunks
Too stoned to get far
I threw the last of you
To the waves and to the stars

I saw you last night at the bitter end
With those high boots on
Your coquettish smile
So charming and free
Playing the French courtesan
Who’ll pull you close
Like you’re the one
Who’ll bring her every
Gift that she needs

I’ve come a long way to find you here
Past the river Styx and the ferryman
You ran away from my last goodbye
And the light flew away with you

I saw you last night at the bitter end
With those high boots on
Sexy little child
So bright-eyed and free
Drank one last happy shot
Then the bar cleared out
The lights came up
My world shut down
And you were gone

I saw you last night at the bitter end
With those high boots on
Sexy little child
So bright-eyed and free
Turnin’ every head your way
Even the ghost of you
A moment’s view
Could bring me right down

Even the ghost of you
A moment’s view
Could bring me right down

Even the ghost of you
A moment’s view
Could bring me right down
To my knees

© 1998 Crandall

Undone

Standing outside
It’s late and I’m anxious and tired
I’m trying to shake off that feeling
I shouldn’t have done what I’ve just done

I hope I didn’t give you my number
I hope you don’t remember my name
I keep walking back through the same old things
You’d think I’d know which way to turn
To turn

You’d better look at yourself
And take back that moment
The one where you came undone
Lost your head and your heart
The day that your soul went numb

I don’t even know what your name is
I don’t even know what I came for
I’m feeling so worried and wasted
I’m never coming ‘round again
‘Round again
‘Round again

I don’t even know where my car is
I hope all I told you were lies
I’m feeling so worthless and wasted
I’m never coming ‘round again
‘Round again
‘Round again

You’d better look at yourself
And take back that moment
The one where you came undone
Lost your head and your heart
The day that your soul went numb

You’d better learn what you want
What you want
What you want
What you want
What you want

© 2003 Crandall

Bottom Feeder

I’m learning to swim again
Navigating the underworld
Big fish, small life

I feel lighter, can finally breathe
Jet streams write mute symphonies
Arhythmic, sublime

I don’t want to hear everybody say
You swim away from your troubles
That gills and fins are no substitutes
For lungs and air and surfaces

I’m overwhelmed by humidity
Heaviness bearing down on me
My own special gravity

I’m a slave to geography
Can’t see what’s controlling me
But the roots run deep

And I don’t want to hear everybody say
You’ve turned away from your promise
You’re lost, you can’t follow the map
You walk away from the obvious
ways…

To spread your wings and fly
Spread your wings and fly
Into the bright, clear sky

But I’m no insect, no butterfly larvae
I’m a lungfish or some bottom feeder
Bad character who prefers the dim light
To the harsh glare and hard surfaces
Maps and clocks and directions
Mathematical, tried and true methods
Zip locked and marketed, anti-
Bacterial, airbrushed and polished
Cleaner than clean can be clean
Shiny lovely

’Til daylight
’Til daylight
’Til daylight

Puts an end to night
Puts an end to night

I’ll take my bow and dive
Take my bow and dive
Into the deep divine

© 2004 Crandall

Eventide

Let’s put our party hats on
And get out tonight
We’ll drink to our future
‘Til we’re hopeful and bright

And we won’t destroy the moment
Worrying about money and life

We’re gonna make our last stand
And do it up right
We can care about tomorrow
When we turn out the lights

I really can’t remember
The last time that we felt right

Wash over me, eventide
Come down to me, eventide

I’m sorry for the hard words
The distrust and lies
And the drunken tirades
In the dead of the night

I guess I’ve lost my balance
I’m probably less than alright

Wash over me, eventide
Come down to me, eventide

I don’t know whose side I’m on
I don’t know what went wrong

Oh, maybe I’m wrong
Oh, baby, you’ve gone

You’ve been pretty restless
Tired of drifting through life
I promise we can get through
If we focus our sights

On the life we should be living
The one where we’re happy and light

Wash over me, eventide
Come down to me, eventide

Wash over me, eventide
Come down to me, eventide

Wash over me
Watch over me
Wash over me
Watch over me

© 2004 Crandall

Album Credits

Released July 22, 2008

Jeff Crandall – vocals, guitar, piano
Aaron Kerr – cello
Patrick Hennessey – drums
Jason Fritts – bass
Leigh Gregory – guitar
Randy Gildersleeve – mandolin, guitar
Frank Spencer – keyboards, organ

“Days Like This” by Jeff Crandall and Frank Spencer
All other songs by Jeff Crandall
All songs published by Swallow the Music LLC
Produced by Jeff Crandall
Production assistance by Aaron Kerr, Randy Gildersleeve and Frank Spencer
Mixed by Randy Gildersleeve, Jeff Crandall and Frank Spencer
Arranged by Jeff Crandall and Aaron Kerr
Engineered by Randy Gildersleeve
Additional engineering by Jason Orris, Dustin Miller and Damien Rasmussen

Recorded at GilderSound, Forest Lake, MN; The Terrarium, Minneapolis, MN; and smokeandmirrors productions, San Francisco, CA
CD Mastered by JJ Golden at Golden Mastering, Ventura, CA
CD Manufactured by Noiseland Industries, Minneapolis. MN