From the Thinland album Tracing the Cracks (2003)
These Last Days
These last days
Between the bookstore and the parking lot
I turned
These last days
Have given me a taste for living
So I turned
Meeting you
Has changed the taste of ash to sugar
So I turned
In this apartment
Underground and full of nothing
I turned
These last days
Have been like water for the thirsty
So I turned
These last days
Have given every thought new meaning
So I turned
When there was one
The days all ran together
So I turned
When I’m with you
Each moment has a color
So I turned
©1999 Crandall
Firegod
I am the prophet
You are the steel
You are the certain fall
And I’m at the wheel
And we’re waiting for our ships to go
Waiting for the axe to fall
Waiting helpless in our own ash heap
I am the firegod
Stricken by rain
Helpless the martyrs
They suffer our shame
But they’re fighting plastic enemies
With vehemence and hypocrisy
But who will stand up
And make a big deal?
Where there is happenstance
We search for meaning
Until there’s nothing left
And we speak of random chance
Still there is little chance
We speak of anything
We starve and we multiply
Turn old and degenerate
The sofas and the flowers
Are in the front yard
We are biding
We are counting time
We are frozen at the dividing line
Hoping somebody has all the answers
But sometime when the coast seems clear
Time will reach right over here
And slap us in the side of the head
Well, sometime when the coast seems clear
Time will reach right over here
And slap us in the side of the head
I am the firegod
Let me choose my flame
And when I’ll stomp it out
©1992 Crandall
Walk On
Ask me, “You got a reason to live?”
Well, I’ve got a lot of soul
And I’ve got a lot of things to burn
Ask me, “You got a reason to try?”
I’m standing at your side
And I’ve got to think we’re gonna make it
Walk on, walk on
I don’t know how we’ll take it
We’ll keep our heads to the ground
Walk on, walk on
We’ve got the will to make it
Touch me, but tell me, who is it for?
I’ve got nothing but my conscience
And I haven’t got the will to want more
Look down, tell me what do you see?
We’re standing at the bottom
I think we’ve got our feet on the ground
Walk on, walk on
I don’t know how we’ll take it
We’ll keep our heads to the ground
Walk on, walk on
We’ve got the will to make it
If you call around, you’ll know
You can’t believe it all
If you tell me you should go
You can’t help it, you’ve got
So little, so little time
So little, so little time
So little, so little time
So little, so little time
Walk on, walk on
I don’t know how we’ll take it
We’ll keep our heads to the ground
Walk on, walk on
We’ve got the will to make it
There’s still a chance we’ll survive
Walk on, walk on
I don’t know how we’ll take it
We’ll keep our heads to the ground
Walk on, walk on
We’ve got the will to make it
©1999 Crandall
Uh Huh
You held yourself away from me
So long I could not count
The months, the days, the hours
My spirit crumbled befor it fell
Your heart was just cold enough
To wait until I’d fall
Your heart was not good enough
To just open up
Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh
I would not spend my life alone
I would not dare to speak the truth
So I built myself a secret world
While I played the passive man
Your heart was just cold enough
To wait until I’d fall
Your heart was not good enough
To just open up
Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh
Our love seemed so much bigger
And we seemed so much better
If I had only been stronger
Why couldn’t you just stall
A little bit longer
Our instincts driven fast by fear
Built tall this wall between us
All those years we held our ground
For nothing but a cruel, cruel end
Your heart was just cold enough
To wait until I’d fall
Your heart was not good enough
To just open up
Your heart was just cold enough
To wait until I’d fall
Your heart was not good enough
To just open up
Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh
©1998 Crandall
Heat and Light
My body is aching
There’s nothing to say
I’ve burned all my bridges
Not much that’s coming my way
The floors are all silent
I breathe in the night
How long ago was it?
This room was once filled
With the heat and the light
Still, there’s a mark we made inside
Hand over hand on every door
As they board up the neighborhood
We live in no more
I stand in the hallway
And trace all the cracks
That break through the plaster
And run from the font to the back
Sweet dampness and decay
I breathe in the night
How long ago was it?
This room was once filled with the heat and the light
Still, there’s a mark we made inside
Hand over hand on every door
As they board up the neighborhood
We live in no more
See them flatten out the block
For new high rises on the way
In a pile a stick of furniture
From yesterday
My body is aching
There’s nothing to say
I’ve burned all my bridges
Not much that’s going my way
You used to bring me the heat and the light
Words and Music copyright Leigh Gregory
Rarebird
I can feel you stepping through me
I’m wide awake, dear
I’m not sleeping through this
Where you headed?
You’re still a specter, dissipating
I wish that you could
Rest your head for awhile
I’d like to stop this train
And walk from these tracks
Into the woods
Where days pass unnoticed
Where we could sit still for awhile
Rarebird
Where are you going?
Rarebird
What are you asking for?
Rarebird
What’s that song your singing?
Rarebird
©1997 Crandall
Suffocate Susan
Suffocate Susan, seeing red again
Black nails and alabaster skin
Serotonin flowing through her veins
Side to side, her face waxes and wanes
She won’t go home
She doesn’t care
She won’t go home
She’s wanted there
She won’t go home
She hates it there
They’ll want to
Suffocate susan again
Too many tattoos to call it a fad
Too many boyfriends to cheer up dear old dad
Hardened softness with a searing stare
She’ll have you thinking she really doesn’t care
She won’t go home
She doesn’t care
She won’t go home
She’s wanted there
She won’t go home
She hates it there
They’ll want to
Suffocate susan again
Hanging Uptown
With all her so-called friends
Just waiting for the world to move
An inch or two
Suffocate Susan, seeing red again
Black nails and alabaster skin
Won’t take their love, she’ll keep them at bay
But she can go home, it’s really o.k.
She won’t go home
She doesn’t care
She won’t go home
She’s wanted there
She won’t go home
She hates it there
They’ll want to
Suffocate susan again
She won’t go home
She doesn’t care
She won’t go home
She’s wanted there
She won’t go home
She hates it there
They’ll want to
Suffocate susan again
©2000 Fritts, Crandall
Hard Luck
It was cold out
Waiting for time to jump
Waiting for the chance to come alive
You could fall down
Standing in the frozen air
Hoping that success would stop nearby
It was hard luck
That kept you down, dissatisfied
Kept you from the heights you tried to climb
You were just too smart
You see too much for you to slide
Your heart aches from the things
You hide inside
You don’t let go until it burns
You life won’t change until you turn
Slow down, we’re trying to reach you
Listen, can’t you hear us?
Breathe deep, we’re right beside you
Right beside you, right beside you
It was cold out
Waiting for the time to jump
Waiting for the chance to come alive
You could fall down
Standing in the frozen air
Hoping that success would stop nearby
You don’t let go until it burns
You life won’t change until you turn
Slow down, we’re trying to reach you
Listen, can’t you hear us?
Breathe deep, we’re right beside you
Right beside you, right beside you
You don’t let go until it burns
You life won’t change until you turn
You don’t let go until it burns
You life won’t change until you turn
©1998 Crandall
More Trouble Than I’m Worth
Stepping on your photographic
Memories of snapshots taken
Of all these stupid little things
That I’ve forgotten in the forest
The grand hallucinations
Of the gifted artist I’ve become
I’ve been peddling all these arbitrary
Explanations of why I’ve chosen
To neglect a thousand friends
I told that I would love forever
You see me as calculated,
Petrified, Incorporated
Angrier than Martin Luther
Never resting, so despondent
Like all the empty bottles
Filling up the grocery bags
I try to hide beneath my kitchen counter
Until they overflow the trashbin
I’m too lazy to put a proper face on things
It undermines my giving nature
I’ve caused more trouble than I am worth
More trouble than I am worth
©2002 Crandall
Water for the Man
He’s got a family and some lovely friends and neighbors
He gives a tithe to the church on every Sunday
He prays for goodness as he weeps about his savior
But he’s got his hands on me
He likes to swim with the naked boys and watch them
Through the goggles he bought for a vacation
Diving with his wife off the coast of Italy
Now he’s got his hands on me
He knows that god is watching
But he still needs water for the man
He’d like for me to go to church with him on Sunday
To play guitar in the hope that the assembly
Will believe that I am just a Christian friend
But he’s got his hands on me
He knows that god is watching
But he still needs water for the man
He’s got no trouble in his soul
He trusts that Jesus is the truth
He knows the word of god is in him
His perseverance is the proof
So he’s made some minor errors
His loving god will grant him grace
For god planted this affliction
And god will have to take its place
©1999 Crandall
Maria
Maria cleans the ashes from her teeth
Tarred and yellow like old pages
In a long-forgotten book
She pores over passages
And reads between the lines
But there’s no way to relieve them of the grime
She says that time will take its toll
And that all our ashes fall into all the holes
Left vacant by the souls still grieving
Maria breaks beside the river’s edge
She kneels to faith then turns away
She won’t compromise
She won’t compromise
Time won’t catch her today
Maria speaks her final words
To the face she’s lived her life in
When the water breaks
Her reflection fades away
And there’s no one there
To see the flower thrashing
Crashing
Maria breaks beside the river’s edge
She kneels to faith then turns away
She won’t compromise
She won’t compromise
Time won’t catch her today
Drenched in grief we tie the knot
Elope with gods to bind the frayed ends
Though the rope is rather taught
We feel safer when the storm hits
Maria breaks beside the river’s edge
She kneels to faith then turns away
She won’t compromise
She won’t compromise
Time won’t catch her today
Time won’t catch her today
©1992 Crandall
I Don’t Belong to the Sun
Light, I keep listening for you
In this final arcade
On the dark side of no place
I move in the shadows
There’s no falling from here
I’m frozen on this accident sphere
I am one with the darkness
I don’t belong to the sun
I watch as my mantra consumes my soul
It’s come for my being
For what’s left to behold
But the deed of the dead is already done
Made my pact with the devil
I am one with the darkness
I don’t belong to the sun
These renegade passions just slip away
They turn me around, twist me up tight
And lead me down the path
To the prince of the night
No words could break my fall
No guilt will redeem my soul
I am one with the darkness
I don’t belong to the sun
You won’t find me praying
Down on my knees
Collapsed in the womb of this mystery
You won’t find my body in linen white
I’ll be back but untouchable in the dead of the night
I’m not moving on
I’m not moving on
In this permanent darkness
I don’t belong to the sun
©1999 Crandall